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If there are children involved, a child support order must be addressed. If children are not involved, and the parties are married, the issue may be one of alimony. If the circumstances are such that your spouse is not required to pay either child support or alimony to you, the parties will need to address who is best able to maintain the marital home. If you are not entitled to support from your spouse, and cannot handle the mortgage payments on your own, it is not likely that you will be awarded the house, and you would be better served receiving a buyout of the equity in the marital home, to relocate to a less expensive home. If the parties have agreed to sell the home and share the proceeds, both parties must discuss how they will each contribute to the mortgage until the house is sold and the mortgage is paid off. A consultation with counsel will assist you to understand your options relative to division and maintenance of the marital home.

You are not required to have a lawyer present during mediation, but I always advise my mediation clients that they have the right to proceed with counsel present, or in the alternative, to consult with counsel of their choosing outside of mediation, before and after sessions. At minimum, it is highly recommended that each party have the draft separation agreement reviewed by an attorney of their choosing before signing. Many lawyers will offer per diem services to review proposed separation agreements and offer suggested changes and edits, which are then taken back to the mediator for discussion and editing.

No. The mediator does not make any decisions or rulings and does not act as the judge. The mediator is a facilitator of discussion of the issues and negotiation of terms. The mediator assists the parties in movement toward a middle ground that is fair and reasonable to both parties, often with compromise by each of them. While a mediator may provide the parties with useful information relative to the divorce laws and how the Judges may interpret and enforce those laws, the mediator cannot make any rulings or impart any legal advice. Only the parties themselves determine the outcome during the mediation process.

As part of mediation, the parties are required to fully disclose all financial information, including all information relative to income, assets, expenses and liabilities. The parties sign an agreement which contains a clause that they shall each voluntarily disclose all requested financial information. If either party feels that the other has not been forthcoming, we will address that concern at mediation, we discuss proposed agreements for disclosure of financial information (for example, exchange of three years of retirement statements, tax returns, bank account statements and credit card statements). If the parties cannot agree on disclosure of the necessary and relevant financial information that is the foundation of a divorce, the parties may need to avail themselves of the court process where there are rules of procedure governing discovery. The Mediator does not have the ability to compel discovery where a party is resistant in doing so, and if a party feels that the other is not being forthcoming about their finances (a self-employed party, for example), then litigation may be the only recourse. In most instances, however, the parties work through their concerns about financial disclosures, and reach agreement for discovery as part of the mediation process.